Wembley Woe

In the last six days, I think I have gone through nearly every emotion going all thanks to Everton Football Club. Who'd have thought a football club could put someone through such an emotional rollercoaster?

Friday started off with bouts of excitement followed by major nerves with a few teary moments thrown in for good measure.

Saturday began with disbelief that I was up at such an ungodly hour to go to a match that was being held in this country, thanks a lot FA, Met Police and ESPN!! Excitement then took hold as I arrived at Lime Street and saw all the fans of both sides milling around the station waiting for their respective trains. Frustration soon kicked in though as being on such an overcrowded train for over two hours isn't a pleasant experience, neither is trying to negotiate Kings Cross and Green Park underground stations in a wheelchair, could they make those places any more confusing? I swear we could have walked to Wembley by the time we'd got around the mazes that is those stations. Excitement got me again once we got out of Wembley Park station and I saw the ground. Mingling around outside the ground and bumping into familiar match day faces including two of the Park End finest stewards, did nothing to dispel my excitement, this was our chance, our big chance, every Evertonian knew that and I think nearly all of us believed it too. Getting to my seat just as "We don't care what the redshite say" came on broke  me a little and I nearly started to cry, but I quickly regained my composure to join in, well you have too, especially at Wembley! An emotion that most people wouldn't expect you to feel at a football match is pride, but that is exactly what I felt when the minutes silence for the 23rd anniversary of Hillsborough was over. I must admit, I was a little apprehensive when I knew that this was going to happen as there's always one or two idiots who I feared would ruin this and also tarnish the reputation of both the club and its fans, but I was so glad I was proved totally wrong as the ground fell silent. I was proud to be an Evertonian and also to be a scouser as we showed the watching world that despite our footballing differences, no city can unite quite like Liverpool in times of tragedy.

The game itself is a bit of blur now, probably because I've chose not to remember it, haven't seen the goals since and didn't read the sports pages of the papers till about Wednesday, but we went from the highest highs with Jelavic's goal, probably made even better by the comical defending by Carragher, to depths of the despair after witnessing one of the most consistent performers not only of this season, but the last couple of seasons too, make such an uncharacteristic, but game changing mistake. Why he did what he did, we'll never know, doubt he even knows, but everything changed from that moment on and my optimism from 60 minutes earlier evaporated and I just knew we weren't going to win now and sadly, I was proven right. Once the winning goal went in (again a goal that could’ve been prevented), the tear floodgates opened, shouldn't cry over a football team, but I've cried many a tear over Everton in the past, and will continue to do so. Its how I am and how they get to me. I've since been told that I was seen on the TV (mightily impressive considering how far back I was sitting) in injury time, so the national probably saw me crying, just to round off a great day!!

The rest of the day I was quite calm and reserved, knew we'd failed to take our chance through our own fault, too many players under performed, simple as, no point going on about it as it was only going to spoil my night out in London and ruin my drinking time!!

But by the much more pleasant train journey home on Sunday afternoon, devastation and disappointment fully hit, it was supposed to be our big day, our big opportunity to prove that the media's view of us being over achievers was wrong, but we failed abysmally and losing to all teams, them, was heartbreaking. They had their 3rd choice goalkeeper playing, yet I think bar a couple of flaps from crosses, I could have played in goal for Liverpool. We really have got some mental block against them, why I don't know, they may have spent more than us, but on our day, we are just as good as them if not better and we should have showed that on the pitch, but after the mistake, the players became inferior. They shouldn't have as they aren't, but they did. I don't like disliking any of ou players, but on Sunday night, I did feel let down by most of them and it's not a nice feeling to have. I felt stupid too for actually believing that we could do it. Moyes also isn't blameless, surely he could see what we all could on the pitch, the lack of support to Jelavic, Fellaini wondering around too much, Osman, Cahill and Gueye being largely ineffective, so why not change things, but it wasn't many options on the bench. The main hope we had previous to the game should an impact sub be needed was Drenthe, but because of his lack of professionalism and downright stupidity he was not available to us, this maybe the last straw for some with the enigmatic Dutchman, I know it is for me. Pienaar being cup tied was a massive miss; I said before the game that his absence would be more of a miss for us than Liverpool having Reina suspended, how right I was.

In my more darker moments of this week, I've thought that we are never going to win anything, but have quickly dismissed those thoughts, if I really started to believe that, what would be the point of going the game, you have to believe in your team and that one day, your time will come, you will get that piece of luck, that referring decision, players and a manager who believe in themselves and their ability, a substitutes bench that will have game changing options on it. It will happen, it HAS to happen.

I think I am just about over the disappointment that was last Saturday now, it still hurts, but not like it did and I've gotten over all the other times they've let me down, so I will get there with this. I survived work and most of the reds in our place tried their best not to mention it to me. I will be there on Sunday at Old Trafford, just the trip we want when trying to put a FA Cup semi final defeat by your major rivals behind you, not!! I doubt this will be our day either, but won't stop me from believing that it may be and have the hope that it will be, but as they say it's the hope that kills you as a football fan and definitely as an Evertonian!!

Semi Final Day Then and Now

Sunday 19th, April 2009 was quite simply, the best day of my Evertonian life. Sounds dramatic, I know, but it is the truth. I always said I'd never get to see Everton at Wembley. I wasn't old enough to remember the Wembley trips of the 80's, let alone go to them. 1995 is still a sore point with me as I couldn't get a ticket for the final, but both brothers went (watching on TV with my mum who was moaning at me for picking at my tea isn't the best memory to have of that day). Whether you agree with the semi finals being held at the national stadium or not, it gave me the chance that I thought I would never have and the excitement I felt as soon as the whistle went in against Middlesbrough in the quarter final only grew and grew as the day approached.


The whole day was just amazing, even writing about it now is making me smile and cry (happy tears). Being a novice at this Wembley with Everton lark, I didn't really know what to expect from the trip, but everything about it was just brilliant. From seeing hundreds of blues queuing for trains at Lime Street, most of them wearing Felliani wigs and waving flags to coming out of Wembley Park station and seeing Wembley Way literally full of blue shirted fans, I'm sure there were some Manchester United fans on there, there had to have been, I just don't remember seeing them as there was just a sea of blue. I made my brother walk all around the ground, so I could experience everything, the fans were in fine form, making the most of the glorious weather, the sight of four middle aged Evertonians in Fellaini wigs running back and forth through the fountain outside the ground while singing "We're on the march" as loud as they possible could is something I won't forget.


I'd been to the new Wembley a couple of times before to watch England and I had always said what that ground needs is thousands of Everton fans to be in it and I was right. Entering the ground again was a sight to behold, there was just blue and white everywhere, flags hung up, everything. One of the special memories that I will always treasure is a I was shown to my wheelchair space (incidentally, I am in the same block and row this time around, a sign maybe?), I realised that Take That's Greatest Day was being played, could there have been a more fitting song being played and even now I can't hear that song without seeing Jags penalty in my head. Next thing I knew who did I see being interviewed on the pitch side, but the best little, but injured Spaniard we know. You would have thought that I'd not seen him in years by my reaction, not a few weeks. I was phoning my mate who was another member of the Mikel Arteta Appreciation from our work to tell her to hurry up and get it so she can see him, like we were never going to see him again. I don't know why but seeing Mikel made me confident that it was going to be our day. Then came crowning moment before the game, Z-Cars being played, I don't think anyone knew that was going to happen, but hearing 30 odd thousand blues all humming along to that was immense.


The game itself wasn't a classic; I struggle to remember anything that happened in the 120 minutes of play, apart from getting the only decision ever to go our way off Mike Riley which sent Sir Alex into a child like stomp. As the last few seconds of extra time approached, the nerves got too much for me and I cried, I couldn't face the thought of losing on penalties, and when Tim Cahill of all players, missed the first one, the tears fell even more. My brother decided not to look at the first United penalty, yet through my tears, I managed to watch it and scream "he's missed it" while jumping on top of our Brian. Never thought Bainesy would miss his and he didn't and then came Howard's moment, yes, he saved Berbatov's, but it was hardly the best penalty in the world, at least Ferdinand got a bit of power behind it. Cue pandemonium in our end, apart from me, who cried even more. Neville stepping up, scared the s**t out of me, could see the headlines ex United player put old team through etc, but how wrong I was, he coolly slotted to put us ahead. I don't really remember United's next penalty, apart from it went in. Then up came Vaughan, the one player from the club who deserved something to go right for once, the thought of him missing made me cry a little bit more, but he was possibly the calmest man in the ground and put us within reach of the final. Anderson stepped up and as much as our willed him to miss, he took the best of United's pens and heaped all the pressure back on to us. I had no idea who was left to take our pen, but after his unfortunate and heartbreaking miss against Fiorentina, Jags was the last person I thought would step up. Well, if it was possible, I cried even more, prayed to anyone that was listening and hoped that his courage to take the vital kick would be rewarded and oh how it was. Our end just went mental, except for me, who once again, sobbed uncontrollably. The old fella in front of me seemed a little worried for me as he rather perplexed he asked why I was crying as we had won. I eventually regained some sort of composure to join in with Z Cars yet again and Hi Ho Silver Lining (no idea why that was played, but it was brilliant). The rest of those minutes and hours after the game consisting of me smiling like a loon, texting all or phoning my bluenose mates and family and still not quite believing we'd actually done it and done it after a penalty shoot-out. I think only after watching the penalties in the pub later than night did it sink in and singing "Tell Me Ma" down Southampton Row at gone midnight, just me and our Brian really did make it real. Sadly, the final never really lived up to the semi final.


So on to tomorrow, we all know form goes out of the window in derbies, but especially in cup games. All I can hope for is that the players go out there with no fear, like we seem to have at Anfield and play like I know they are capable of, like they did up at Sunderland. If we get that level of performance from them, we stand a very good chance of progressing. As for our fans, sing like you have never sung before, but sing for Everton and our boys. Support the lads and the manager, don't be distracted by what Liverpool are doing, singing. We are there to help get Everton through, I really believe that having 7nearly 7,000 fans up at the Stadium of Light helped us to win up there; don't think I've been in a better away end. Surely having over four times there tomorrow of us can make our end even louder and passionate that at Sunderland. However, the one time I was us to be quiet, is when the minutes silence is on. I don't expect any Evertonian will not be silent as Hillsborough affected blues as well as they had family and friends who were there that day and will know someone who lost their lives on the sad, fateful day nearly 23 years ago. We will show the victims’ families that we are with them in their ongoing battle to get justice and that nowhere like the city of Liverpool unites in times of tragedy.


Hopefully by around 2.30pm tomorrow afternoon, if all the above has happened we will all be dancing around Wembley to Z Cars again and planning yet another trip to Wembley in three weeks time, which wouldn't be a bad return for a girl who thought she'd never get to Wembley with her club!!


COYB

Sunderland...the best midweek away ever!!

"But why do you want to go all the way to Sunderland on a Tuesday night?" That was the question I got asked by so many people when I answered their first question of "Are you going to go the replay" with a yes. After being part of an amazing travelling army of well over 6000 fans and witnessing a display of near total dominance from the team, how could I have not gone up to Sunderland?!?!

Quite simply, it was easily the best midweek away game in this country I've been to.

From start to finish everything about the day was brilliant. Leaving work at 1.30pm after being in since 7am and ending up getting a taxi that had Everton memorabilia all over it to take me to Goodison. This was surely a sign that it was going to be our day?

I met with the lovely ladies, Sandra and Lynne outside Everton One and it was like a match day around there, blues everywhere. Turning into Priory Road was a sight to behold, 50 plus coaches, all laid on by the club for free (a fantastic gesture by Everton) lined up down the whole length of the road waiting to transport hundreds of Evertonians up to the North East. I don't know if it was the gloriously sunny and warm weather (felt more like the opening day of the season than late March) but the atmosphere was happy, jovial and full of confidence, I felt like I was off to the Cup final itself and not just the quarter final. Fans were decked out in blue shirts, Fellaini wigs and carrying flags. Typical Evertonian wit was also in force with funny wise cracks aplenty as fans started to board the coaches. My particular favourite being from the fella who was on Coach 54, upon realising how far down Priory Road this coach was parked (practically by the entrance of the Stanley Park Car Park) remarked "you'd think the club would have put on a free bus to take us down this road to the coach, I'll be frigged by the time I walk down there and what's with them putting me on a coach parked so near to Anfield"

Coach one (the best coach of all 50 plus coaches) set off bang on half two and within minutes of departing we were being entertained by a DVD of Everton's greatest FA Cup goals (once again I saw this as being another "sign").

We arrived at the Stadium of Light just before 6pm, so me and the girls decided to wait for the team bus arrive. After managing to worm our way to the front of the gathering crowd (thanks to Sandra) and waiting for nearly an hour, the team coach arrived and me and the girls and the odd few Everton greeted Moyes and the players with cheers. Not sure why we burst out singing to Tony Hibbert when he got off the coach, but we did, we also did a rousing rendition of "he's got red hair but we don't care" when Moyes alighted the coach!! Kind of wish I didn't record this on my phone as playing it back and hearing my awful singing voice was somewhat embarrassing.

Once we'd finished our sing song at the players entrance we decided to enter the ground, we walked around the stadium, the noise levels increased as we approached our end, as "We're on the march with Moyes' army" resonated into the Sunderland sunset sky, even from the outside the noise from our fans was amazing. It was so loud, that it made me go shivery.

As kick off approached, my nerves started to get the better of me, but I still felt quite confident that we'd win. Not like me at all. As the teams came out the atmosphere was so unbelievably loud. Despite being outnumbered, our end was just as loud as the Sunderland ends as we hummed Z Cars to drown the entrance tune of Sunderland. There was such a belief coming from the Everton fans and we really got behind the boys. Each one of the lads acknowledged the away end and what a sight it must have been for them to see the whole end full of Evertonians cheering them on. It must have had an impact on them as we came out of the blocks flying, unlike the original tie at Goodison. We never gave Sunderland chance to get a foothold in the game, quietened down the crowd and created one or two decent chances of our own with the Sunderland hero from the first game Mingolet saving his team yet again. Our dominance was justifiably rewarded after 24 minutes when the impressive Magaye Gueye cut back a great cross for Nikica Jelavic to slot home with a lovely side footed effort. Cue pandemonium in the away end as "Jelavic, Jelavic, Jela, Jelavic" was sung as loudly as could be. It was a lead that we deserved for our near enough total dominance of play. Sunderland started to improve slightly after failing behind, but the ever impressive Johnny Heitinga and Sylvain Distin kept them at bay. When the Mackems did bypass these two, Leighton Baines was there to make an excellent block from Bendtner's shot. There was such a determination about the defence, that they wouldn't be beaten. The fact that Sunderland's best chance came in injury time shows this and even then Howard made the save.

If the first half was good the second was even better, we doubled our lead thanks to a gift of an own goal from the helpless David Vaughan, but praise needs to be given to Marouane Fellaini for pressurising the substitute into giving away possession so easily. If it was mad enough in our end at 1-0, it was beyond crazy once we'd doubled the lead. I was in danger of being swept along on to the pitch with the celebrating fans who made it down to front apron, so I did what I do best celebrated and then hid behind my mate, as she's in a wheelchair too, she wouldn't have been much of a protector for me, but we survived.

Even with just over 30 minutes to go, I really felt it was game over, Sunderland were lucky to be only two down, Jelavic missed an excellent chance to make it 3, Ossie's volley flew only inches wide and Gueye lashed as shot just over. The most danger for me wasn't a Sunderland comeback but from one of my boys. Darron Gibson's powerfully struck shot was flying right towards me; I've never been so relieved to see a ballboy in my life who managed to stop it coming into my face.

The atmosphere that was already excellent, was just unbelievable in the second half, our end just bounced it really did. We sang, we cheered, everything. Was the best away end, I've been in and I've been in a fair few. The best chant of the night came in injury time as we regaled substitute Tony Hibbert with "he scores when he wants, oh Tony Hibbert, he scores when he wants"

As the whistle went, I celebrated with people I've not met before in my life, as well as those mates who I see each week. It was brilliant to see the players celebrating just as much as the fans, led by celebrators in chief Heitinga and Fellaini. It showed that it meant something to them to back at Wembley and not just us fans. Even the posts on Twitter by them afterward showed how important it was to win and how they really wanted to win.

The journey home on the coaches was very long as the nice police force who had already incurred the wrath of Moyes wouldn't let the coaches depart, so it was just gone 11pm when we finally departed. I always tend to fall asleep on the journeys home from away games, but there was no chance of that happening as I was literally buzzing from the whole experience.I was on the phone to my brother who usually comes to the games with me, but because of work couldn't come, singing Jelavic's song to him and making him book train tickets as soon as I got off phone. I was getting texts of mates who watched at home, telling me how proud they were of the fans who went up there and how good it came across on the television and how good we played. Me and the girls were planning our Wembley trips and reading tweets from other fans who were all just as excited as us. How could I have slept while all this was going on?!?!

Priory Road was just as chocka with Blues at 2.30 am as it had been on 12 hours early and the atmosphere was still just as jovial as hundreds of tired, but deliriously happy blues made their way to their cars and got taxis home. As it was, I managed to get another bluenose taxi driver to take me home, it seems that fate was definitely on our side.

Lying wide awake at 6.10am with "oh Johnny Heitinga" "We're on the march" and several other Everton songs going around my head didn't bother me at all. The fact I was so tired and achy the next day (thank the Lord that I'm on flexi in work) didn't matter one bit, I was just so glad that I was able to be at the Stadium of Light to be a part of that. I was so proud of everything to do with Everton on Tuesday - the manager, the players and especially the fans and that is why I wanted to go to Sunderland. Being at home and watching that on ITV wouldn't have been the same and I would have been so pissed off knowing I turned down the chance to go. I'm an Evertonian, I have to go to the match!!

A midweek night to be proud of!!!

Just on four weeks ago I walked out of a cold and windy Goodison Park after witnessing one of the most abject Everton performances of recent times. A showing that was nothing more than shambolic and quite frankly embarrassing. Fast forward barely a month and again I was coming out of Goodison on another cold night, even colder than on the 4^th of January, seeing as I’d been at the ground helping out with the EDSA collection since 6pm, but the fact I could hardly feel my legs didn’t matter. I couldn’t care less as I’d seen a performance that typifies Everton under Moyes, the kind of performance that made me proud of being an Evertonian again. Everything about Tuesday night was summed up what the real Everton is all about.

Firstly, the fans. The crowd may have been just under 30,000 but for the first time in months, there was a brilliant atmosphere inside the old lady, maybe playing under the lights helped with this, but the crowd really got behind the team and at times in the second half it sounded like there was over 40,000 inside. It made such a difference to be in the ground that felt positive for a change. Whether the performance of the players inspired the crowd, or the positivity of the crowd inspired the players, I don’t know, but it was great to be part of that.

The players who I’d been critical of (and deservedly so) after the Bolton game, played like the players I know that they are. Whilst standing outside the ground, I’d heard that Shane Duffy despite his recent excellent performances at centre-back had been dropped in favour of Tony Hibbert. This decision was causing a lot of mutterings of discontent from fans “what is Moyes playing at” etc. I suppose it was natural reaction to ask these questions, but the over-reaction from some fans was ridiculous, a friend of my brother’s nearly had a row with a lad sitting by him who said we’d lose  5 or 6 nil as a result of this change to the back four. I wonder how this fella felt after watching Heitinga and Hibbert excellently shackle both Aguero and Dzeko. I can hardly remember either of these two, who let’s not forget cost in excess of £60 million having a decent opportunity all game. Heitinga has played really well since moving back into his more recognised centre half position, he is a lot more an accomplished a centre half than I initially gave him credit for.

Special praise needs to go to Hibbert and he actually got it in the national media and on Match of the Day for once. The difference in height between him and Dzeko was ridiculous, but this mattered not as Hibbert kept the £27million striker so quiet, just as Jagielka had done last season at Goodison. Hibbert is never really seen as fans favourite, why I don’t really understand. He is an out and out defender, first and foremost. No one can time a sliding tackle at the club quite like Hibbert can. Yes, his crossing lets him down at times, he’s never going to be a Leighton Baines, but he has improved that area of his game over the years. But the one thing that can never be said of Hibbert is that he doesn’t give his all, no matter what position he’s playing in. He may well be dropped on Saturday despite his outstanding performance against City, if he is, you will not hear any complaints or moaning from him, he will just bide his time, wait till he gets his chance and knowing Tony he will take it again like he did earlier in the season. A lot is said about Phil Neville being the ultimate professional, but to me Tony Hibbert is definitely up there and his “I’ll do anything for Everton” sums everything up about Hibbert and he deserved every accolade he got for his performance on Tuesday night.


Another player who deserved all the praise he received was Denis Stracqualursi. He harried, hassled and chased down nearly every City defender; there couldn’t have been a blade of grass he did not cover. He is not the most graceful or skillful of players but his work rate and effort cannot be faulted. He was so unlucky not to have scored early on, but it would have to have been Lescott who cleared his goal bound header off the line. The standing ovation he received when he was substituted, his second in as many home games, just shows how the fans have really taken to him. All fans ever want to see is a player putting in no less than 100% every game, things don’t always go your way, but if a player is giving all they can to the cause, a fan will genuinely appreciate that. A certain other striker who left on Tuesday night would do well to remember that.


Fellaini again was outstanding, he seemed to be everywhere in that midfield. How my brother fails to rate him, I do not know. He and Gibson seem to be developing a decent little midfield partnership. I think having Gibson alongside him is allowing Felli to push on a little bit more and have a little freedom in the middle. But he will still get stuck in when needed and he combined both elements of his game so well on Tuesday.


What can be said about Donovan that hasn’t already been said, think I will sum it up by saying I really wish we could sign him permanently. Again, his work rate cannot be faulted, both attacking wise and defensively, at times he was our right back on Tuesday!! His assists have proved to be vital to us, and even though I was screaming at him to hit it when the ball fell to him, he was composed enough to tee up Gibson.


What this article probably tells you is that I like players who work hard for the cause. Obviously I’d love us to have players and performances that are exciting to watch, full of attacking, free-flowing football, but sometimes performances like Tuesday night are just as brilliant, against a team that cost millions more than ours did, who have the money to probably buy any player in the world, but they couldn’t buy a team spirit and support from the fans like we had on Tuesday night. Nights like that are what being an Evertonian is all about!!!   

Yet another Bolton debacle

What is it about playing Bolton Wanderers that on occasions makes Everton players perform so abysmally? In fairness, our recent record against Bolton isn't bad, but when we lose to them, we manage to produce performances of such ineptitude that each one excels each other. A pathetic 2-0 defeat at the Reebok in 03-04 when the only memory of the game is Rooney throwing a strop when he got substituted. We followed this by an embarrassing 4-1 home defeat in 2005. Just when you didn’t think it could get any worse came last season’s pitiful 2-0 lose at the Reebok, a performance which  Moyes later described as being “as bad as I can remember since I’ve been in charge.”

After last night’s debacle, I think Moyes’ statement from the 13^th of February 2011 could be applied to the 4^th of January 2012 too.  It was easily one of the most abject performances I have seen (and there's been a few in the last nearly 19 years). I can handle losing, you have to accept taking defeats as a football fan, but it is the way you lose that is sometimes hard to take and I can’t take defeats like Wednesday's, when we went down without any fight.

I am and always have been a Moyes fan, but I can apportion blame to him when it needs to be and I think parts of this performance where down to Moyes. We played the much clamoured for 4-4-2 in a home game, the formation failed to work as Saha is hopelessly out of form and even worse than this, lacking in effort.  Straqualursi, despite all his endeavours is not a premiership standard striker, but I suppose with the only other option being a not quite fully fit Anichebe; Moyes probably had little option to partner these two upfront. Where Vellios is I have no idea, but surely time has to come to give him a go in a formation where he’ll receive decent support and supply. Neville and Heitinga as the centre partnership was never going to work. Neville is not a central midfielder (and in my opinion, not a right back either). So much of the play bypasses him, when he is involved he slows the play down so much, I can’t remember one single forward pass he played last night. Defensively, he gets caught out too as proven with Bolton’s goal (yes, Howard maybe should’ve caught the ball and not punched it), but Neville let his man run past him and who was that man, Gary Cahill who probably signed off his career as a Bolton Wanderers player with the winning goal . I was even disappointed with his captaincy skills; there was no rallying of the troops, urging them on, just nothing. Heitinga is blatantly more comfortable playing at centre half (a chance he will now get with the injury to Jagielka), but playing alongside Neville effects him. I thought he played quite well at West Brom and improved further once Neville was substituted and Osman had gone into a more central position. I do believe that Moyes would have sacrificed Neville (like at West Brom), but his hands were tied do to the enforced substitutions because the injuries.

Another fault which Moyes can take some blame for is bringing on Rodwell to replace Jagielka. Rodwell had been doubtful for the match with a recurrence of his hamstring injury and the fact that he’d hardly warmed up before coming on, despite Jagielka being down for treatment and attempting to play on for five minutes or so. It was too risky to bring Jack on to play 50 odd minutes when he’s played about an hour’s football since mid November, Cahill could’ve come on as could Gueye who could have gone on the left and Osman could've been moved into what I think is his best position, where he has far more influence, a more central role.

No doubt others will have found further faults in the manager, but what he couldn’t be blamed for is the general lacklustre showing from the majority of the players. Yes, Moyes picks the players and yes, he’s plays players in wrong positions, but he doesn’t make the players not be able to pass to another blue shirt even though they were only yards away from each other. It is not his fault with the lack of composure shown the players; it was like we were scared to keep a hold of the ball as soon as a player received possession they wanted to get rid of it straight away. Yes, the chosen personnel could be blamed for this, but surely most players whether or not they are suited to a particular formation can manage to retain possession for more than 5 seconds.

Everton under Moyes have been renowned for their team spirit, which has seen us through some very tricky times (having to play Fellaini and Cahill upfront as we had no recognised fit strikers for part of the 08-09 season being a prime example, along with many a last minute goal to earn us a point or 3), last night it seemed like half of the players had never met each other before. Communication between certain players was practically none existent, several times two players (at one point, 3 players) went for the same ball, how hard is it to see the other man who is inches away from wearing the same coloured shirt as you?

Ok, the weather was atrocious, but it was the same for both sides and I don’t remember Bolton making as many simple errors as we did. Bolton were nothing special, but they just wanted it more than we did and they full deserved their three points. These types of errors are nothing more than schoolboy mistakes; professional standard players should not be making such basic errors.

We have a game on Saturday against Tamworth which should be, in theory, a more than comfortable win, but if we go into the game making these simple mistakes and with a less than professional attitude, we could well be on the verge of one the biggest FA Cup shocks in history.

After last year’s embarrassment at the hands of the Wanderers, we won our next game which just happened to be a FA Cup game. We showed in that particular FA Cup game everything that I love and have come to expect from Everton, team-spirit, determination, never say day attitude and as a result of showing these attributes we got a fully deserved, memorable win. Let’s hope Saturday brings the same.

Gary Speed - RIP to a fellow Evertonian

It is strange being a football fan and how it makes you feel about certain players.  I would have never expected to be feeling as upset and emotional as I am today over the tragic death of a player who was only at Everton for less than two years and left us over 13 years ago, but I have spent most of the day crying at the tributes being made to Gary Speed and reminiscing of his time at Everton.

The signing of Gary Speed was the first time I can remember us signing someone who was one of us, an Evertonian, so instantly that made me love him. He was genuinely so thrilled to be joining his boyhood club, how could I not like him.

His debut against Newcastle United at Goodison in 1996 was meant to be about another player making his debut for his boyhood club in what was then a record transfer fee. Yes, the headlines were about the boyhood fan not only playing but scoring for the club he’d always supported but it wasn’t Alan Shearer they were talking about, it was Gary Speed. He scored the first of his 18 goals for us in front of the Gwladys Street end, where he used to stand watching us in the 80’s. There must be no greater feeling for an Evertonian than scoring at Goodison, and he had managed to do it within half an hour of making his first appearance.

My other abiding memory of Gary Speed, is his equaliser at Anfield, possibly the second best feeling for any Evertonian to experience. This came in the days before I went to the aways and I was at home hiding from the score updates (like I still do now), and I just remember my mum checking teletext and shouting into me (I was hiding in the kitchen) “Speed rescues a point for Everton”, I was so happy.

Logging onto the official website today, the club have put up the video of the demolition of Southampton, a game which Speed scored his only hat-trick. I remember being at that game and the only goals I could clearly remember before looking at that video was Speed’s 2^nd and 3^rd goals. The other thing that struck me from looking at that video was what a great midfield we had back then. Kanchelskis, Barmby, Parkinson and Speed. They’d walk into many a Premiership team then and now.

I met him once, coming out of Goodison during a pre-season tournament. He’d scored for us that day and I told him that he scored a great goal (I don’t think it was a particularly great goal, but I was a tongue-tied 15 year old girl, who didn’t know what else to say to one her idols), he was very friendly and approachable and made me feel like I hadn’t just made a total idiot of myself.

When he left, I was gutted; he was such a vital player to us. I will admit I was angry with him for wanting to leave us when we were in such a state at the bottom of the league, but I have since come to realise that there was a lot more to that story than the one we were told at the time.  He kept a dignified silence to protect the club that he loved, and in doing so, he tarnished his own reputation amongst the Everton fans who up until then had admired and loved him so much. He returned to Goodison with Newcastle and Bolton, and came in for quite a bit of abuse from the crowd, but even despite this, he still kept his silence so not to drag the club, the club he still referred to as “us” through the mud. Only someone who was a true Evertonian would do that.  Even when he scored a penalty for Bolton, he showed dignity and respect to the club, there was no celebrating by him, unlike a certain other ex Evertonian striker. He regained a lot of respect back from Evertonians for this.

What is making me even more upset over his tragic death is that I only saw him at Goodison last Saturday. He had parked in the Gwladys Street school car park, like I had. He was getting photographs taken and signing autographs and for kids, still the same approachable, friendly fella I’d met all those years ago. In a way, I suppose it is a nice thought that one of the last games he saw, was back at the ground that he loved and he saw his team win.

This is the first death of an ex Everton player that I actually remember watching, and a player who in his short time with us I loved. I was upset by the deaths of Labone and Ball as I’d been brought up with tales of these two, but this is something so different, it has really has hit me hard and left me feeling numb. It's just so tragic as he seemed to have a great career in management ahead of him. My thoughts are with his wife, two sons and family.

I hope and I am sure he will get the send off he deserves at his beloved Goodison on Sunday.  Seeing the tributes already on the Park End gates for him, there is no doubt that Everton and the rest of the football world will give Gary the tribute and respect he fully deserves.

Gary Speed, a great Everton player and more importantly a great Evertonian, who should be remembered for being that, may you rest in peace, Gary

Duncan Ferguson - My First Love

With last week’s news of Duncan Ferguson returning to the club to help coach the under 16’s, got me thinking of Duncan’s times at the club and what he meant to me. Ferguson is often described by fans as a legend, a title which causes a lot dispute amongst older fans who were lucky enough to see the likes of Alan Ball, Joe Royle, Graeme Sharp etc, but to me and a lot of fans around my age (I was 12 when he signed), Duncan Ferguson is a legend, he was my first Everton love. 

He joined us initially on loan and was probably Mike Walker’s only decent act as Everton manager, thankfully he didn’t really stay around long enough to see Duncan in action.  I remember listening to a commentary of an away game at Blackburn and them saying the deal to sign Ferguson and Ian Durrant on loan would be complete during the coming week. At this point, Ferguson was hardly known for his footballing ability, but more his anger & temperament issues, he had a court date pending for head-butting another player!! We lost at Ewood Park after another poor display and I remember thinking that the last thing we needed was a player who sounded like they’d be more of a hindrance to us in what was going to be a struggle of a season. But things for Everton and Ferguson changed as soon as Joe Royle took charge and one particular night in November 94 redefined our season, a high flying Liverpool came to Goodison to face us, a team who had won once all season. The Old Lady rocked that night (as it tends to do under the floodlights), we won 2-0 and he scored a classic of a header that made him an instant hero as well as playing a part in the 2^nd goal. He reinforced his hero status with yet another classic header against Man Utd. The fact that during his time with us, he scored most of his memorable goals against our two biggest rivals is another reason as to why I loved him.

The reason I loved Duncan wasn’t just the goals that he scored (not a prolific goal scorer by any means, but he got some brilliant goals, the shot on the turn at Old Trafford, the swivel and shot against Liverpool, the hooked volley against Wimbledon and many a towering header amongst them), it was the way he took the club to his heart. He really did love the club and the fans, his celebrations often reflected this. I remember his reaction to Dave Watson’s winning goal in the FA Cup quarter final, he celebrated that goal just as much as any of us who were inside Goodison that day and who can forget the pictures of Duncan the Blue Nose from Wembley?!

Things weren’t always easy at Goodison for Duncan during his first spell at Goodison, once Royle left, we went through one of the worst spells I’ve experienced, a poor team, with very limited players who lacked quality, we came dangerously close to relegation. He was the only hope we had in these dark days, all too often, our style of play during this period was nothing more than hoof ball up to Duncan; in the desperate hope something would come of it. Sometimes it actually did, primarily, in December when the newly appointed captain of Everton Football Club, Duncan Ferguson, single-handedly got us a vital 3 points against our nearest relegation rival Bolton with a stunning and much needed hat-trick. 

His departure in November 1998 was controversial to say the least, and upsetting for fans. I am not ashamed to admit that I was devastated and I cried for a good couple of days after he’d gone and the a bit more when he talked about his affection for the club and particularly the fans in an all too rare television interview.

The day he returned to us was the day I got my A Level results, but I was more excited by Duncan coming home than seeing the results in that envelope. His first game back was against Charlton, I spent most of the game watching the bench to see when he would be coming on and when he did, I was so very excited (quite sad for an 18 year old girl, but that is what Duncan could do to me). His brief appearance in that game probably summed up his Everton career, scored vital goals but sustained an injury that would keep him out for weeks.

If it wasn’t injuries limiting his appearances, it was suspensions. Ferguson was not averse to incurring the wrath of many of a referee, sometimes harshly, most of the times not. Who can forget the sending off for literally strangling Steffan Fruend (think Homer wringing his hands around Bart’s neck and you can visualise the scene). At the time, I was fuming with him, but now looking back, it just makes me laugh and the short fuse was part of what made Duncan, Duncan. He probably wasn’t seen as much of a hero/legend during his second spell, mainly because we had a significantly improved squad this time around and Duncan was not as much of a focal point like in his first spell. He also still had his shocking injury and disciplinary record as well as the odd run in with Moyes. But the impact he made in us finishing 4th in 04/05 is in my opinion all too often overlooked, he may have only played a small part, used mainly as a sub, but he became our super-sub, he won us games home and away to Norwich, Fulham as well as a point against Birmingham. But what he will be most remembered for in this season is the Man Utd game at Goodison. Quite simply, the best night I’ve had at the ground, my Bayern Munich equivalent. Duncan was unplayable that night, like he was in his first few seasons with us. No one there on that night will ever forget the atmosphere when Big Dunc scored and ran off to his beloved Gwladys Street, he very nearly re-created the famous tattoo revealing celebration too. That was the night I knew we’d clinch 4th spot and probably the highlight of Dunc’s second spell with us, what a highlight to have?

Not many players could make me cry and laugh in equal measure, but Duncan definitely could. Once again he reduced me to tears in his last game, in typical Ferguson style, he grabbed the headlines by missing a last minute penalty but slotting the rebound (and nearly knocking Osman out of the way in the process to make sure he got the final touch). The lap of appreciation by the players turned into the Duncan Ferguson show. The sight of him and his kids walking around the pitch were so emotional and for once it was a genuine show of emotion not just by the player to the fans, but vice verse. The reaction of the fans to his appearance at the Hall of Fame awards, the Everton awards and on his return to Goodison last season just shows the esteem he is held in and I think the feelings are mutual, just hearing speech at the Everton awards shows this.

Joe Royle one said that “Duncan was a legend before he was a player” and that is probably true, but on his day Duncan was one hell of a player and will always be a legend to me.